What is it like to have a Failure To Launch child?
Father Tim tells us about his son Jefferson:
First, let’s explain what Failure To Launch is exactly. Failure to Launch Syndrome is very much what it sounds like. Failure to launch is where a young adult is stuck in “no man’s land” between the time period of childhood and the time period of responsible young adulthood. Failure to launch young adults have become more and more common in our nation’s population. Failure to launch young adults claim that they “don’t know what they want to do”. Failure to launch young adults claim that “there are no jobs out there” meanwhile the economy is as strong as it has been in a while. Failure to launch young adults blame everything and everyone under the sun for their own personal lack of productivity.
So what is it like as a parent to have a failure to launch child? FRUSTRATING is the first word that comes to my mind as a parent of a child who is engulfed in failure to launch syndrome. My child has an incredibly high IQ. He got excellent grades. My child was also in all advanced classes in middle school and high school. But even though he excelled in all of these areas he suffers from the failure to launch syndrome.
As a father, it is extremely frustrating for me as his caregiver to watch this “floundering”. As a caring parent, I want to see him succeed. I want to see him achieve everything in life that he could possibly want or need. I know this failure to launch syndrome bothers my child. I know his failure to launch syndrome affects his confidence and this really hurts. Since the birth of my son, I have been “catching” him when he took his first steps but failed. I would be there to catch him if he tripped. I was there to hold him and tell him that “it’s ok” when he hurt himself. But this is completely different.
We are both adults now. He lives on the other side of the country and we see each other seldom, maybe a few times a year. We both have adult lives to manage but he is still the same baby boy taking his first “baby steps” and I feel like I’m sitting there, arms outstretched, waiting to catch him. Maybe as a parent, I shouldn’t have always been so eager to “catch” him. Maybe that is why he can’t “catch” himself. Have I been there too many times to “clean up” the messes that life has brought my son? As I think back over my childhood I can clearly see that my self helping process was hindered by my dad bailing me out time and time again instead of allowing me to dig myself out of my “holes”. I love my dad enormously and he meant no harm, but there is a fine line between love and enabling.
Here at The Addictions Coach http://www.theaddictionscoach.com 1-800-706-0318 and The Addictions Academy http://www.theaddictionsacademy.com we treat and teach ways to overcome Failure to Launch. Call us today for information!