Three Ways to Motivate Your Failure To Launch Child

Three Ways to Motivate Your Failure To Launch Child

Motivate

It can be extremely frustrating to have an adult child that is suffering from Failure to Launch Syndrome. Getting your adult child passed their “stuck point” in life can feel like you are beating your head against a brick wall. This becomes especially frustrating when we are trying to help our failure to launch adult child find employment. We, as parents, know that gaining employment can start our child off to a successful life. Let’s look at a few ways in which we can help them find employment. We have to be careful not to helicopter parent or snowplow parent and just be there for guidance and support.

1.HELP THEM WITH RESUME-part of being diagnosed as failure to launch is being unorganized in life, so having a strong resume is probably not a common factor in our adult child’s life. Helping them organize their past employment into a productive resume will really help them gain good employment.
2. SET A TIME TO JOB HUNT ONLINE– use this as a function that you and your failure to launch child can do together. A common downfall of failure to launch syndrome is not being able to structure our time productively. Set a common time for you and your adult child to go online together and see what is available.
3. TAKE YOUR ADULT CHILD TO INTERVIEWS– your adult child that is suffering from failure to launch may not have reliable transportation which makes them fall behind other candidates for jobs. We can be there to help our adult children get to and from interviews to give them the best chance of gaining employment.
There are many different ways in which we can help our adult children suffering from failure to launch syndrome get employment without helicopter parenting or snowplow parenting. At The Addictions Coach, we specialize in helping young adults suffering from failure to launch syndrome. Learn more about Failure To Launch Syndrome or contact our elite team today at 1.800.706.0318.  A Few Ways to Motivate Your Failure To Launch Child

Am I addicted to social media?

Am I addicted to social media?

Is social media having a negative impact on my life? Am I spending more time in my “virtual life” than I am my real life? These are all valid questions to ask yourself if you feel that the time you are spending wrapped up in social media is starting to have a negative impact on your life. Social media addiction is real and it is affecting people all over the world and is having a huge effect on people’s social skills. Let’s start by using millennials as an example. Now we are not going to trash this specific generation here but I do want to bring a few things to your attention. Have you noticed that certain millennials have problems expressing themselves or interacting on a normal level? They operate perfectly through Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and even by text, yet they can’t pick up a ringing telephone or answer a common knock at the front door. This is because they have been brought up communicating and interacting through social media instead of in a real-life setting. Another sign that social media is having a negative impact is isolation.
How many of you reading this blog have a teen, pre-teen or a young adult in the home who is, right at this very moment, behind a closed door playing an online video game or interacting on Facebook? I bet the number of you would be eye-opening! How about the person who can’t have a meal without a “food selfie”? Or the person who cant participate in a normal everyday function without documenting this on social media? There is a huge difference between using social media to sell a product or promote an event and dictating your every move through Facebook. There is such a fine line here with social media. It can be such a helpful tool when used in a healthy way but it can be a destructive tool when abused. So are you a social media addict? If you are asking yourself this question then there is a good chance that you are abusing social media in one way or another.
Dr. Cali Estes and The Addictions Coach has developed the addictions industry’s best one on one coaching for social media and internet addiction. Please head over to http://www.theaddictionscoach.com to get information on hiring a social media and internet addictions coach. Our phone lines are open 24/7 at 1-800-706-0318 and as always, please take a moment to click on our testimonial page to hear from the hundreds of those who have used The Addictions Coach to put their lives back on track!

What are some failure to launch symptoms?

What are some failure to launch symptoms?

With the addictions industry and recovery community realizing that Failure to Launch syndrome is for real, we naturally search for answers on how to get a failure to launch syndrome help. First of all, we can’t fix failure to launch syndrome until we know exactly what the failure to launch symptoms are. So let’s take a few moments to recognize and go over the symptoms of failure to launch. At first, you may begin to notice a loved one suffering from failure to launch begin to isolate themselves from everyone around them. Isolation is a huge symptom of the failure to launch because the person suffering from failure to launch syndrome feels like a failure and tends to not want to interact with others so that no one is exposed to their so-called failure.
Another huge symptom of the failure to launch syndrome is your loved one can’t hold down a job. A lack of pure self-confidence plays a major role in not being able to hold down a job. Failure to Launch syndrome leaves us without the skills and knowledge needed to stay gainfully employed.
Another huge symptom of the failure to launch syndrome is not being able to hold down a relationship with a significant other. Those of us suffering from failure to launch syndrome don’t want others, especially a significant other, to know our shortcomings brought on by failure to launch syndrome. Those people suffering from failure to launch syndrome would prefer to be alone. Not being able to dig ourselves out of our own trouble spots in life is another huge symptom of the failure to launch syndrome.
A large percentage of people suffering from failure to launch is a direct result of helicopter parenting or snowplow parenting. These two styles of parenting cripple children and young adult children by not giving them the self-confidence and skills to get themselves out of their own messes. We need to give our children enough space to make their own crucial decisions in life that sends them on a successful path.
Our next symptom of the failure to launch is that we can expect our loved one suffering from failure to launch to not be able to pay their own bills and pay their own way in life. Because unemployment is so high in those of us suffering from failure to launch, we can expect to see our loved ones afflicted with failure to launch fail miserably when it comes to paying bills. Again, because of the destructive styles of parenting, our loved ones suffering from failure to launch have usually had everything taken care of for them in life, especially financially. And in turn, this produces a catastrophic effect when someone with failure to launch syndrome tries to pay their own way in life. They absolutely can not do it. They expect the parental safety net to “swoop” down at any time to save them.
One of the biggest symptoms of failure to launch syndrome is an addiction. The feeling of worthlessness and failure brought on by failure to launch syndrome is enough to turn young people to drugs and alcohol. The numbing effect that drugs and alcohol temporarily bring to those suffering from failure to launch is very appealing. And over time, those people numbing from the feelings brought on by failure to launch syndrome develop a full-on addiction to whatever drugs they are taking.
So where can one find failure to launch syndrome treatment? Well, Dr. Cali Estes, founder, and creator of The Addictions Coach and The Addictions Academy has not created a new program to help those suffering from failure to launch syndrome. You can find information about this new program at https://fixfailure2launch.com or by calling 1-800-706-0318. There are a lot of moving parts when it comes to diagnosing failure to launch syndrome and fixing failure to launch syndrome so let the leading experts in the addictions industry help you today!

What causes failure to launch?

What causes failure to launch?

Up until last year, failure to launch syndrome was looked at as nothing more than laziness and our young adult children or nothing more than a minor personality and motivational defect in our young adult children. But now that more light has been shed on the lack of motivation in our millennials and the inability in our young adult children to be responsible members of society we now need to look at the causes of failure to launch syndrome in our youth. We cannot fix failure to launch syndrome until we know why our young adult children are suffering from failure to launch syndrome. It has become extremely important to zero in on our parenting methods involved in the upbringing of those of us afflicted with failure to launch syndrome.
There are two major defective parenting methods that are the leading cause of failure to launch syndrome. First, we have helicopter parenting which is when we as parents hover over our children, especially in educational, social and occupational life scenarios to attempt to push the child in a direction that we as parents think is best. This is extremely detrimental and the child’s progression in life when it comes to forming their own healthy personality and confidence. The other detrimental form of parenting is snowplow parenting. This form of parenting is when we as parents remove every possible roadblock or hurdle in life for our children as if we were a snow plow going down a snow filled road, removing any obstacle in our way. This is obviously detrimental to our children because they never develop the skill of overcoming life’s negative obstacles.
Second, a young adult has a lack of purpose in life and has no passion or marketable skills. They want to save the world and make a ton of money but want to start their day at noon and spend it on facebook taking selfies. They have no concept of real hard work and think they can simply be Kim Kardashian and make money on youtube.
Third, the lack of social consequences. Mom and dad bail out their adult child, especially all legal issues and make them simply disappear. There is really no consequence, if the child can’t pay rent, mom and dad cover it. If the child wants a car mom and dad buy it.
Fourth, the school has never cut them so they do not know what it is like to be cut from the team or felt a letdown. They graduate school and literally apply to one job and expect to get it and make six figures out of high school. when they don’t get the job they are devastated. They have no idea what loss is.
I will use my own personal experience here but explaining this. My father and I had an extraordinarily good relationship as I was growing up as a child and playing sports and thriving and sports. When I turned 16, I decided to forgo a college scholarship in baseball to pursue my lifelong dream of becoming a touring rock ‘n’ roll drummer. My father turned his back on me and wanted nothing to do with me because he feared I was throwing my life down the toilet. This breach in our relationship contributed to me “shutting down” and becoming extremely “nonproductive” in life! So as you can see there are many different causes when it comes to the causes of failure to launch syndrome and we have to be very careful in the parenting of our youth as well as our relationships with our parents and children.
If you feel as though you are suffering from failure to launch central or maybe you feel as though your parenting skills have led to your child suffering from failure to launch syndrome then please contact us here at https://fixfailure2launch.com or call 1-800-706-0318. Call us today 24 hours a day seven days a week as Dr. Cali Estes, the founder, and creator of The Addictions Coach and The Addictions Academy is here with her new creation geared to help ALL affected by Failure to Launch Syndrome!

The Five Ways I Helped My Failure To Launch Child

 

The Five Ways I Helped My Failure To Launch Child

failure to launch

So earlier this week we established what “Failure To Launch” syndrome is. We also established how our parenting styles can contribute to our child’s success or failure, specifically with ‘Failure To Launch”. So now it would only be natural to talk about how we can help our adult children suffering from “Failure To Launch”.
In my case, my lack of parenting greatly contributed to my son’s “Failure to Launch” so I needed to do whatever I could to help pull him out of his rut. Now, what was extremely important was that I did not helicopter parent or snowplow parent my child. I desperately needed to help him but do this in a way where he does the work with me. This way he builds healthy confidence along the way. So here are the top five things I did to help my young adult child suffering from Failure To Launch” syndrome.
1) First off, true to form in a young adult child suffering from “Failure To Launch” syndrome, my young adult child had isolated himself on the other side of the United States and stopped responding to calls, texts or emails. So I needed to get him out of his “isolation cell”, his house, and move him closer to me. This will allow me to start helping him structure a healthy lifestyle. So this is exactly what I did. I moved my son into our RV.
2) Next, I needed to make sure he was working to pay his own way in life. Also true to form in a young adult suffering from “Failure to Launch”, my son had completely stopped working. He had not sent us his bill money in almost a year and something had to be done. Now that he was living near me I could offer him a job with me and a chance to learn a trade that could set him up for a successful future. Being a residential electrician, I was able to put my son to work with me. This is very important because by paying his own way he is quickly gaining confidence in life.
3) Two and three kind of go hand in hand. So next, I was able to teach my son a trade that pays well and has steady work at all times. I am in the process of teaching my son the electrical trade. I truly feel like teaching my son the electrical trade will help set him up for a very successful future.
4) It was very important for me to help my son structure fun activities for us to do together. My son loves to work out in the gym and so do I so #4 was a no-brainer. I would get up 2 hours early to make sure we had time every morning before work to hit the gym. Not only did this activity give us valuable time together, but it is quickly making us both extremely healthy.
5) Last, but not least, I am simply making time for my son and hanging out with him any chance we have to hang out together. After getting my son here, helping put him to work and spending quality time with him made me realize how lonely he must have been while isolating himself. It must have been miserable waking up every day “locked” in your own misery. So making time for my son and spending quality time with him was an easy choice, and I have seen VAST improvements in him since we have been hanging out more.
—Tim
So as you can see, we as parents can make a huge difference in helping pull our young adult children out of their “Failure to Launch” mindset. It takes a lot of work on both parties part but if both parties stay committed and disciplined you will be amazed at the results! Dr. Cali Estes, founder and creator of The Addictions Academy and The Addictions Coach, has now created http://www.fixfailure2launch.com to focus strictly on those suffering from “Failure to Launch” syndrome.  Call  1-800-706-0318 to get information on how to help you or a loved one suffering from “Failure to Launch” syndrome today!

Top 5 Ways That Exercise Helps Fight Failure to Launch Syndrome

 

exercise

In everyday life a healthy body is a happy body. We have pro athletes who compete for the healthiest body. We have “gym rats” who work hard in the gym on a daily basis to have a healthy body. We even have pro athletes who have to keep a healthy body to keep their jobs. Well, there is another group of individuals who need to make keeping a “healthy body” a priority and that is those of us suffering from Failure to Launch syndrome.
Exercise is extremely important for us both physically and emotionally. Physical exercise releases chemicals called endorphins. These endorphins interact with the receptors in your brain that reduce your perception of pain. These endorphins also trigger a positive feeling in the body similar to morphine. For example, the feeling following a good run or intense workout is often described as euphoric. Most runners claim they get “runner’s high” after a run. So as you can see, regular exercise can do wonders for someone suffering from Failure to Launch.
Here are five ways that regular exercise helps fight Failure to Launch.
Regular exercise reduces stress. Trying to pull yourself out of Failure to Launch is going to be a high stress experience for anyone. Adding a regular workout plan to your every day plan will definitely help reduce your stress level.
Regular exercise will fight off anxiety and feelings of depression. When we are coming out of our “funk” caused by Failure to Launch we will have high levels of anxiety because we are turning over a new leaf in life we the future appears to be uncertain. We will also be “up and down” emotionally and may run into periods of depression that we need to understand are only temporary. A good exercise program will help us curve the depression and anxiety by releasing those “feel good” endorphins.
Regular exercise will improve sleep. After a good workout our bodies will go into recovery mode. This is where the body slows down and we become tired in a healthy manner. This will allow us to sleep through those otherwise restless nights.
 Regular exercise will definitely increase your energy level. A lot of times with Failure to Launch and depression comes a lack of energy. During your fight with Failure to Launch you are going to need all the energy your body can create. A regular exercise program will increase your natural energy level by increasing your body’s metabolism as well as other ways.
Regular exercise will increase your self esteem. Let’s face it, we all want to look good. We all want to have a nice body that is appealing to others. We have spent so much time during our Failure to Launch syndrome feeling bad about ourselves. This is the perfect way to boost your self esteem and show the world that you do care about your health, both emotionally and physically.
So if you are struggling with Failure to Launch or know someone who is, please check out the rest of this website, designed to help those suffering from Failure to Launch.  http://www.fixfailure2launch.com You can also call our team at 1-800-706-0318. Contact us TODAY!

 

5 Ways To Pull Yourself Out Of Failure To Launch

 

failure to launch

Failure to Launch syndrome can be extremely frustrating to the one suffering from the disorder and it can be just as frustrating for the surrounding loved ones. Being “stuck” in life can cause a wide range of problems and negative emotions that may seem impossible to overcome.
Well, I am here to tell you, from experience, that failure to launch syndrome can be maintained, regulated and corrected through dedication, hard work and a willingness to be helped. Now, I want to take a few minutes and show you how I was able to reach out and help my son who was suffering from failure to launch. My adult son had spent seven years isolated in the Rocky Mountains. He spoke to no family members, didn’t work and the only way we knew he was alive would be when his power would be cut or he would be completely out of food and he would call for help. And obviously I would help. This cycle went on for seven years until my wife and I decided we could not keep enabling our son. This was a decision that kicked off a chain reaction that seemed to “bring our son back from the dead”. So here are the top five ways to pull yourself out of Failure to Launch.
1) Make that call to a loved one for help. No matter how bad things seem. No matter how far out of control your life feels, you MUST ask for help. I know it is uncomfortable to ask a loved one for help but pulling yourself out of Failure to Launch is NOT something you need to try to do on your own. Pick up that phone and make that call and I promise you that it will be the best decision that you have ever made.
2) Start interacting with family and friends on a regular basis. After spending so much time isolated by yourself it will be extremely healthy to begin socially interacting with family and friends. Feeling loved from our family and friends is extremely important to our psychological well being. I don’t care what anyone tells you, being alone isn’t any fun and it’s not healthy for anyone suffering from Failure to Launch to be isolating themselves.
3) Get a job, any job, and start contributing. Most of us stuck in the grip of Failure to Launch haven’t worked in a long time. We have let others pay our way through life for years so the sooner we can get a job and start paying our own way through life or contribute to our household the sooner we will start feeling better about ourselves. Being financially stable is one of the quickest ways to gain self- confidence AND gain the confidence of our loved ones. Becoming financially stable is one of the most important things you can do when getting help for your Failure to Launch syndrome.
4) Make amends to your loved ones and tell them that you love them. During our darkest times in our battle against Failure to Launch most of us were completely isolated and I am sure there were times where our family did not know if we were alive or dead. And during that same time period, I’m sure our family members were paying our bills and putting food on our table. So saying “I’m Sorry” would go a LONG WAY.  Hearing that from you will make all the difference in the world.
5) Believe in yourself. If you have done numbers 1 through 4, then you are well on your way to pulling yourself out of Failure to Launch. Great job my friend! Now you need to BELIEVE IN YOURSELF and continue the journey and leave Failure to Launch syndrome far behind in the dust!
If you are still struggling with Failure to Launch syndrome or know someone who is, this website is the place to be to help those suffering from Failure to Launch! You can also call our elite team at 1-800-706-0318.

HELICOPTERS, SNOWPLOWS, CUPCAKES and BUTTERFLIES!

 

helicopter

There is an old saying that claims that “perception is reality”.  This is definitely true when it comes to parenting our children. Whether it is how we perceive how they should be brought up and parented or whether it’s how our children perceive life and how they are being brought up. We as parents can hover over our children and correct them at every turn, make decisions for them or basically live their life for them without giving them a chance to develop a healthy personality for themselves and gain a healthy confidence in life.

This hovering that parents do is called helicopter parenting. Helicopter parenting has an adverse effect on our children by stifling their confidence, dulling their social skills and keeps them from figuring life out on their own. There is nothing wrong with healthy guidance when it comes to raising our children and teaching them right from wrong. But flat out hovering and meddling in their lives because your perception of life is a certain way is extremely harmful to our children and can cause failure to launch syndrome as well as addictions, personality defects and other social deficiencies.

For those of us who have raised children from birth, I’m going to ask you if you remember when our children first learned how to walk and we would be right there behind them picking up sharp objects on the floor, slippery items, chairs and brooms, or anything else that they could trip and fall and hurt themselves on. Well, when we hypothetically “run behind” our adult children  clearing them a path through life by eliminating all obstacles that they may have to face or work through themselves, this is called snowplow parenting.

This style of parenting is extremely harmful to our children because they never learn how to work through an obstacle themselves. This style of parenting teaches our adult children that they don’t have to work through life‘s problems, issues and obstacles. Mommy and daddy will always be there to make it better, but the problem is when mommy and daddy are no longer here whether they have passed away or life takes you in separate directions, the adult child is left without a clue on how to work through life’s troublesome obstacles.

My wife tells me that life isn’t always “cupcakes and butterflies”.

You see, I was a child whose parents both used snowplow parenting and helicopter parenting when I was a child and it has definitely crippled me in my adult life when it comes to working through life‘s little issues. And what my wife is trying to tell me is that through helicopter parenting and snowplow parenting, our parents try to give us the perception that life is always good. Life is always full of cupcakes and butterflies! This could not be further from the truth and the reality of life is that there are always going to be obstacles and issues that we have to deal with on a tactful and responsible level.

 

So, if you are a product of helicopter parenting or snowplow parenting which has contributed to your failure to launch syndrome please read the information from Dr. Cali Estes or call the elite team at 1.800.706.0318. This is a unique and one-of-a-kind platform to deal with failure to launch and all of its negative consequences that Dr. Estes has created and it gives you the option to have the help brought to you into the comfort of your home instead of coming to us.  Call today and begin your journey back to a responsible and productive lifestyle!

“Where do I go from here?” A childhood filled with addiction

 

‘Where do I go from here?’ 

I was 7 years old when I first thought this. Surrounded by broken people abusing drugs and alcohol, my first reaction was to try to get out of this situation. Having no understanding of why my parents chose this lifestyle, I decided to do whatever I could to ease their stress. My best option was to excel at school and be the kid that doesn’t ask for things I knew we couldn’t afford. I learned that showing love was the only thing I had to offer and so I gave that to my parents to help them be happy without being under the influence. 

       My dad, a drummer, was heart-set on being the next Tommy Lee and loved being high on cocaine. My mom, a struggling soon-to-be single mother, was on and off Xanax. Both of them drank to alleviate pain, stress, and to have fun while forgetting about the bills. My pain was buried and my thoughts were always to do better to help us all escape from poverty because that was the biggest threat to my parents sanity and our family. I was very quiet, keeping straight A’s and to my escape – video games. This became my early addiction because I fell in love with the ability to distract myself from the chaos around me. Our living room would turn into a live concert where each of them loved to play music – which is why I never got upset with them – I didn’t want to see them unhappy and if this is what made them smile then let them be.

         It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. Fighting, yelling, and placing blame on one another were common in our apartment. I’ve had things pawned and seen my parents high more than I care to remember. My dad was in and out of our lives dealing with his personal struggles and my mom changed boyfriends like they were new clothes to get help with the bills. I stayed quiet and my plan was to be successful, to rescue my family. 

      My parents are good people that got caught up in making bad decisions, probably due to the lack of acceptance and love by their parents. We all go through some form of discontent, but I believe it’s a mental and spiritual test because we also have the ability to show unconditional love and patience. Everyone learns at their own pace and for some the test may be more difficult or just take longer. Life may not be fair, but always we have the choice to be grateful for what we have instead of upset at what we don’t. 

       As time went on, our family grew smaller to only my mom, sister, and I. We constantly had to move and live with other families/relatives to survive, and this instability caused me to feel insecure and disconnected. It was strange leaving friends behind and making new ones at a different school but this became the norm. I learned to lie about my home life because I was afraid of getting judged and labeled a loser from a low-life family. Occasionally I met friends in the neighborhood who were going through similar situations and that made me feel better, but my true joy was still gaming. Everything was going to plan, straight A’s until I met my next escape from reality, pot. 

       15 years old and our small family had just been evicted from our apartment. I was lucky enough to have a friend who’s mom took me in so that I could go to the same high school while my mom and sister moved in with her newest boyfriend. Feeling uncomfortable around my peers from having an unusual life and wearing mostly my brothers hand-me-down clothes or white T-shirts, I ran away from my thoughts and feelings by smoking weed with friends. I was lost without real parental guidance to tell me ‘it’s going to be OK’. Not that I would believe them at this point. Seeing my mom fist fight a few boyfriends, seeing my dad go to jail, and seeing my brother get sent to boarding school all made me feel inadequate. Sort of like I was destined to be a burger-flipper my entire life, slowly I gave up hope. 

        I started hanging out with scumbag friends because I thought this is what I’ll become so I might as well embrace it. I quit trying to achieve and found peace in smoking weed and playing video games. I was alone and playing the victim because I didn’t believe I deserved the life I was given, which looking back now is a broken mentality to have. A year later my mom took me back in with her boyfriend after moving back in the area and I finished out the semester at a different high school in her attempt to shake me of this funk. It was was awkward moving schools again so I spent my days at the beach alone or playing video games most of the time. 

      That summer, I moved in with my step-mom and dad who tried to rekindle our father-son relationship by sacrificing his love of the city to live in a small beach town and return me to what I considered my home high school. I had lost hope in my future and let myself fade into skipping classes and not taking school seriously because I had no one disciplining me or educating me on what to do after high school. Neither of my parents went to college or did anything successful at that point in their lives, so why would I listen to a pep talk from them? At 17, halfway through my junior year, I didn’t care about myself so I let my mother, who probably was worried about me / jealous that I was living with my dad and step-mom, take me out of school and send me to live with my older brother. 

         He was moving to Colorado to start a new life into the cannabis industry which I found so inviting. Video games and smoking pot became my identity and I never felt comfortable developing a long-term relationship because I didn’t love myself, so how could I love someone else? This went on for years… I felt lost and was searching for happiness through other people’s journey, never stopping to think about what I wanted to accomplish. 

      Recently, I have come to a conclusion that I do love myself and I love my family and friends. I want to be a better person, and so I’m working on how to treat people in a more open and caring way. I’m still looking for better ways to show affection and it all begins with communication. My addiction was separation, but that didn’t make me happy. In fact, it made me feel so empty that I numbed my feelings and emotions everyday to run away from thinking about them. 

       Addiction is difficult to cope with alone and I’m very grateful I have people in my life that truly care about me even though I shut down to be alone. I have to forgive myself for being an empty shell just going through the motions of work and coming home to play video games. I have so much more to offer the world and I was holding myself back with a poor mentality. I’m finding happiness through understanding that I have so many opportunities to learn, grow, and experience life as a person. 

       We all go through tough times and depression can seem insurmountable, but my advice is to have faith. With the help of others, a strong willpower to better yourself, and the hope of inspiring others to do the same, good times can be closer than you think. Moments will come and go…and I suggest that you cherish them all because life is too precious to let slip away. There is always a person in need of love and you have the chance to be the one giving it.. that, for me, is a good reason to be alive. 

      I truly believe that we are all here to enjoy life, while working on how to love each other and ourselves more effectively. My heart goes out to anyone in need of love today and I hope this inspires you to reach out to someone you care about and show them you love them because you just may change a life. 

–Jake Carpenter

How do I motivate my adult child?

How do I motivate my adult child?

This is a question that parents are asking themselves more and more these days. And this is a direct result of Failure to Launch Syndrome. More and more young adults can’t seem to get past their “stuck point” in their present life. Why is this? There are a number of reasons why young adults seem to be “stuck” in their personal and professional lives right now, but that’s a different blog for a different day. Today we are going to discuss how we can motivate our adult children.
First in order to “fix” something or motivate a young adult, or a generation so to speak, is to UNDERSTAND them and the problem. It seems that Failure to Launch Syndrome is higher in millennials so with this generation we have to understand the technology that has contributed to certain “shutdowns” in their personality. So the first thing we have to do is to understand where they are coming from and how they see things through their eyes. Remember, most of us older than this generation didn’t have the technology that millennials have had doing everything for us. This technological coddling definitely has had a dulling effect on this generation’s production! We need to understand this before we can fix it.
The next two things I am going to discuss go hand in hand. Secondly, we need to set boundaries with this generation. Making sure that you make your adult child knows exactly what you will do and what you won’t do is extremely important. Your actions are half of the process in fixing this lack of motivation so it is imperative that your adult child knows your boundaries.
So this brings us to my third way to motivate your adult child. and this is accountability. Make sure that your adult child knows that their lack of preparation is not YOUR emergency. Make them accountable for their own actions and preparation. Throw the “ownership” back on them where it belongs. Because in the end, only I am responsible for my success or my failure, right? Not anybody else.
Next, Raise the bar on them little by little. Give them tasks to accomplish and hold them to it. Don’t revert back to old habits and do everything for your adult child because it’s “easier”.  And lastly, make a contract with rewards and consequences. Reward your adult child for taking responsibility and accomplishing minor goals. And at the same time make sure you have consequences for your adult child when they don’t follow through. Keep in mind, that we need to work as hard as our unmotivated adult child to fix this issue and get them on their way to a productive life on their own. This is what we really want for them in the long run, right? Also, keep in mind that we here at The Addictions Coach specialize in working with unmotivated adults with Failure to Launch Syndrome. Head over to our company website at www.fixfailure2launch.com or  https://theaddictionscoach.com/failure-to-launch/
or call us at 1-800-706-0318 to get information on how to motivate your adult child today!